Yesterday was fairly restful, the pool guy never showed up, apparently they had someone quit last week creating scheduling problems. That doesn’t bother me, in the past it would have, any time I’d have an appointment I used to stress out over it the entire day of and a good deal before hand. Having a kid has put me on a track in life that keeps me moving, meaning if I’m tired or stressed out, the baby still needs things. Now I don’t care about such things, I’ll worry about the baby, let them worry about the pool. Along with that yesterday we found out that the new baby we’re expecting at the end of the year is going to be another girl, my baby girls are going to be so cute playing with each other. They’re so beautiful that I’m sorry you don’t get to see them, I’m sure you’ll understand the internet is no place to share such things publicly. Life is hard to understand, so much has changed from when the first baby was born and especially since I was in the military, yet I’m still the same me. Envisioning life it’s easier to think that what is me as my life’s plan, the plan for me has always been the same though the person in the moment has changed and I had to do step 1 to get to steps 2 and 3. The person in the moment doesn’t control the plan, but makes decisions in those moments. A kid looks at the adults around them to get an understanding of what it means to be an adult. At this point in my life I can’t say I’ve met anyone like me or doing something similar to act as a guide, that’s why I began making my own entertainment, the only way to let that light shine through.
Chris' Morning Pages 