They call it being the bigger man, but always feels like settling. I’m supposed to forgive everyone and when they don’t even apologize, how’s that fair? It’s not and it’s not supposed to be fair, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Being able to apologize or forgive without confrontation makes us stronger. My ego sure doesn’t like it though. A child sees strength only as lifting heavy things, with age that becomes a metaphor; lift a heavy burden or responsibility. This strength doesn’t build visible muscles, but in the soul, a resilience to folding. That folding could be giving in to every passing whim or curling up in a ball to cry when the world gets too heavy. What good does it serve to “be the bigger man”? It makes the world a better place, first by example, people see it and they want to also do better. Second, through action, If I’m not crying in the corner then I am doing and this strength means more doing over a lifetime. There’s also future benefits that becoming strong today makes it possible to be stronger tomorrow and more gets done. There’s the rub, the reward for taking care of yourself is more work. I do all this king regalia and people like to say, “heavy is the crown” which is true because it bring new problems which the king is responsible for. There is a steel breastplate I have and when I came back from NOLA there was rust on it, looks like a drop of condensation formed and rolled down the belly. Now I have to maintain steel where as if I threw it out, no problem.
Chris' Morning Pages 