This morning I noticed one of my neighbor’s houses had been TPed, or vandalized with toilet paper. Vandalize feels like a strong word for soft as bottom tissue and for Halloween the visual is appealing, still if it was my house and was done in ill will then I’d have no trouble calling it a crime. Luckily there was heavy rain last night and the toilet paper won’t be around for long, the remnants might linger for the month though. I’ll probably keep an eye on the house to see the decomposition process because I do like the idea of toilet paper decorating for Halloween, maybe TP myself with the family some day, it also seems like fun to throw the rolls. To be clear I did not attack my neighbors house, nor have I ever TPed a house, that’s why I need to imagine what it’s like. On further thinking my guess is it’s hard to throw the perfect toilet paper roll since it would ideally have a long tail as it flies. The reality is the paper would probably rip mid flight if the tail got too big and heavy. Now I’m thinking about how exhausting decorating is, why would I want to get out of bed in the middle of the night to go decorate someone else’s house when they won’t even appreciate it. The only bright side will be if it’s biodegradable and no one has to clean it up. Throwing paper towel rolls could be an improvement, if for no other reason than to confuse your enemies.
Chris' Morning Pages 