Rough weekend, I’ve been getting sick the last couple days and this morning my cats knocked the Christmas tree down. Everything seems to be ok with the tree, there was a lot of ornaments scattered that I’ll have to rehang later. Before the tree fell both cats had been batting around an ornament ball that had either fallen or they knocked it down earlier, then they started wrestling underneath it when it fell. I’ll be spooking them away from the tree now whenever I see them near it. There was also some family drama that led to podcast drama and me almost calling it quits. All of my social media is to support the podcast, so if that stops I’ll shut everything down and go back to being the hermit in the woods that I am. Then I wouldn’t have to speak to anyone for a long time. Now back to the current moment, I don’t have much of anything planned since I’m sick and too much time is spent in my head being angry when I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong or hurt anyone. Of course that’s how people always feel, but all of my interactions with people are documented either through text or video, so anyone can go back and see exactly what I said to show me where I went wrong. That has yet to happen, so I’m mad at being treated in a way I think is unfairly and want to go on a yelling spree at everyone. Writing this is better than hurting others though. Though if my buttons keep getting pushed I’ll break everything, I don’t know why people test me, my patience is a nicety because my training is in death and destruction; that’s what I’m best at.
Chris' Morning Pages 
yep..and no one likes smashing things in a rage better than me. But someone taught me a long time ago there are some things in this life you never control. So stop trying to. Because one day you will look back at all the destruction and hurt you caused and have to live with it. You were also trained in self control. Just let it go. Trust me you will be better off thirty years from now .
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