Sorry but it doesn’t seem like I have a picture for you today, and why should I, I don’t even know if you want pictures, so I’m not going to go out of my way to serve someone who might not exist! I figure I’ll try and post a picture from the day before, if I took any. The only picture I took yesterday was to show my wife a piece of mail from the IRS. It was nothing big, just a “If you logged into your account, do nothing” message, but I’m not going to advertise whatever account numbers are on that.
Yesterday was pretty good, I didn’t get as much done as I wanted to, but I realized that what I wanted to get done is a level of energy that I’m setting my goal for. Maybe I could do it for one day and then crash for the rest of the week, but that’s not what I’m after. I want to be a productive human everyday and that is going to take time, but I went to the gym, did my morning pages, read, drew and continued learning how to work twitch. A couple months ago I would have been happy just going to the gym in a day.
This morning I decided not to go to the gym because I was pretty exhausted last night and I know from past experience that going today would lead to a depressed Chris and a night full of nightmares. I’ve also got two therapy appointments today, so no need to push myself. I have what people might call PTSD and really bad social anxiety, which is why I think social media, if done right, could be good for me. Test out the waters of talking to people when they don’t really exist. I was in the army infantry for about five years. I started seeing a therapist through the VA a couple months ago and more recently that led to group therapy where we learn coping and de-stressing skills. Group is every week and my individual appointment just happens to land on today, so it’ll probably be a pretty emotional day without me adding anything extra.
That’s all I need to write today, but if you are reading this I’d like to say thank you for caring about a random blog out of the millions on the internet. I appreciate having a space where I can free my mind and seeing someone liked it lets me know I’m not alone. I’m doing this for me, but I want you to be the best you possible and hopefully I can help with that.