23 September 2025

One of the reasons to write is because any day could be our last and apparently today today could be the rapture, so Jesus please protect my family and I, other than that there’s not much to do. People were even selling their belongs to prepare for today. The Bible says no man will know the hour, that’s all I need to discredit any claims at the end of the world. Still it’s interesting to think about what it would be like, considering people’s preparations. Going with what the Bible says in the rapture those that are “saved” are saved. Early on and maybe before things start, Christians are whisked away, that’s why there’s nothing to worry about, we won’t feel it. Then a bunch of bad things happen on Earth, demons are allowed to run wild for a little bit before everything goes down. A personal belief of mine is the war against evil is never ending and even in death warriors are able to continue the fight. With a fresh suit of armor and heavenly body we can swoop down on wings with spear in hand. A strange trait in myself is a desire to fight, fighting is a bad thing, even in self defense I think the morally right thing to do is not fight. Still the act of fighting is fun, it’s hard for myself to understand and why would a destructive trait be innate? For defense is a simple explanation, but I think there could be a better one. It relates to challenges and wanting to overcome them, or to give everything one’s got to “test their metal”. A telling of history could be men going out to find new adventures and women caring for the home, providing growth and stability, new resources and mended morale.

19 September 2025

We saw alerts to boil our water since there is a leak somewhere, it’s not a big deal to boil water though it does seem like it should be a bigger deal in terms of news coverage. We saw the message on a couple different news Facebook pages, no telling how many people have seen it or how many will listen. There probably should be more information provided as well. Last night, I commented on one of the posts to see if we still need to boil water. Supposedly someone replied although I can’t see any of the comments. The whole situation feels strange and hopefully is nothing. In other news I’m getting close to a point I can record my show again, the camera is working and now I’m figuring out the microphone situation. I need a cordless microphone because I sit far from the camera and I never liked how the microphone takes up a big portion of the screen on a lot of recordings. There’s no path or example that I’m following, doing things my own way causes me to frequently ask what am I doing? There isn’t an answer, I’m trying to make something new that means it doesn’t exist until after I’ve done it. In the mean time there’s a bunch of equipment strung through out the house. Truly the hardest part of art is being deep into a project and everything being a mess. There’s a lot of work to get finished created, but the largest amount of work is polishing to the final product that other people get to see. 

18 September 2025

On some real life news, we got back our first ever school photos from 3k, that means 3 year old pre-k. The princess looked cute as usual and a little shaken, I imagine the experience was like a factory floor where the teacher gets a kid in position, cheese, move along and on to the next one. Probably the first time my girl has experienced something like that. The use of “my girl” reminds me that she’s been saying to the cats, “my boys”, I don’t know who influenced who. We’ve also been getting into the Halloween spirit, about once a day she lets me know she wants to go trick or treating. Yesterday, we got information on the school’s trunk or treat, that’ll be a lot of fun. Seems like I’ll by with the car and the little princess while the elder walks around, so we have to get some decorations. A nice feature of the day is we can shop for car decoration kits that will have everything for event. The only other news from yesterday is I assembled a sort of gymnastics set with rings, it pairs well with the trampoline and we plan to get a balance beam. The elder princess is very athletic, she’s been climbing and jumping on me her whole life. While helping her use the rings I could feel muscles activating that she probably didn’t know existed and was a little scary for her at first. In time I’m sure the equipment will get a lot of use as it’s part of the garage which is my space, the kids will want to do everything in there to get closer to me. The elder princess even gives the heavy bags an occasional push, then it turns into an obstacle course.

17 September 2025

I had to take some time off after the incident that happened last week. Usually, I try not to talk about current even. Of all my writings in 2020, I didn’t talk about covid-19 once, but this event happens to be a personal interest of mine. Reminds my of Eminem’s comeback album, Kamikaze, a lot of the media was talking about something I was already interested in. Obviously I’m not alone as they both have tens of millions of followers, and it’s hard to figure out what happened. I don’t mean what took place that day, but rather why do I feel effected, when I stop watching someone’s content they’re gone anyway like it’s the same thing. Norm Mcdonald was a big inspiration for me and one day he was suddenly gone, I still watch his videos. When talking to a lot of friends they expressed anger over the situation and I felt that too, perhaps over how unfair it. I had been sharing a video of a speech from Oxford, to exemplify how this was one of the best speakers America, and the world, had to offer. He was also outspoken of his Christianity, which media doesn’t like people talking about Jesus. Jordan Peterson is another intellectual I’ve been a fan of for years, but he’s unwilling to call himself a Christian, to me that’s where he falls short. There’s a danger to preaching Jesus in public, that’s part of what I’m processing. Everyone needs to be accepting of everything, except when a person shares Christian views, then they’re a problem and it’s never been more obvious than now. Seeing as America was founded on Christian ideals and the settlers were saved by following the Bible, those views have been tested and proven.

10 September 2025

On the edge of mid life, I told myself it’d be nice if I live another 37 years. As I’m trying to exercise more, the increase in effort causes stress. Yesterday was a push ups day that left my wrists feeling injured, even pushing down the top of a soap dispenser hurt. They day before I was doing squats and then it became a challenge to sit on a toilet, to be honest the toilets in my house are too short. Continuing my regiment is necessary to feel healthy and loosing weight will make everything easier, but eventually feeling like out of shape will be indistinguishable from getting older. The injuries start coming and they don’t stop coming, still there’s nothing to be done except be more active now. As Hamlet said, “Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing end them.” Meaning we suffer either way, from a life long fight or a slow death. It’s probably obvious that I’m running low since my writing seems darker. When tired, I relive past mistakes, what a nasty trick of the mind. Then I look forward, how to get out of this mess? Rest, rest and run, then repeat.

9 September 2025

Continuing where I left off about my garage gym, here’s a photo attempting to get most of the room in one shot.  In the future, I’d like to extend padding on the ground. The blue on the ground is 1 inch thick padding and I ordered two more sets of that in black. Hopefully the new pads are the same as the old because I was waiting to purchase more since the price had gone up and then they sold out, some how the ones I ordered ended up being cheaper than the original though they’re a different brand. Eventually, I’d like to add a second layer of padding, though I’m not rushing into that. What I do need to focus on is building a desk. As I prepare my equipment to start recording again, the pile of cables and devices keeps growing. Currently most of my work is in a cabinet or a couple different places, I need it all in one place and visible. There’s even more equipment that I will need, only everything has to get connected and tested for me to know what’s missing. From the last time I was recording, I wanted a teleprompter to be able to read my script, that would require an additional monitor to read from and more equipment to connect. Another project to get started on is decorating my armor. There is a pattern on my shirt that can be seen on the front and the back, so I want the logo on the front of the armor to preserve that idea. First I’ll have to get paint specifically for metal to prime it, then I can add color and now we’re talking about a couple months from now. Who knows what the world will look like at that time.

8 September 2025

After what felt like forever my punching bags are hanging again. There was a whole ordeal to get them up, but first I’ll cover last week. The baby wasn’t sleeping well during the night and during those times it’s a struggle to function, even last night she had some middle of the night wakes. Things should be improving as everyone gets healthier, which leads me into exercising more. The garage is coming together, on one side is my throne set up and the other punching bags, when riding the bike I can look back and forth feeling good. Getting into the installation, the reason it took forever to put up is it required drilling into concrete. Masonry work takes extra energy I haven’t had, on top of that I needed to get a hammer drill that can handle the work. The first drill I got was the cheapest Walmart had, about $30, I would have been very happy to get the job done for that much. I did get a carbide tipped drill bit that cost almost as much as the drill itself, but the combination only got about an inch into the cement. My next attempt was going to Tractor Supply though I couldn’t find a hammer drill, so I went back to Walmart to buy their more expensive drill. It’s still Walmart and about $100 for a hammer drill is still pretty cheap, these fancy drills get get up to several hundred easy. The new drill was battery powered, after several recharges and struggling, the holes were deep enough. The rest went up quickly and I technically put the beam sideways, it’s now up and usable. Being able to hit things makes me a happy boy.

5 September 2025

What a week, two nights ago the baby woke up every two hours and after a night like that I can’t function during the day. My whole life I’ve had people naysaying everything that goes on like, “two hours is plenty of sleep” or whatever stupid argument they want to make for the sole purpose of being disagreeable. Now that voice is always in my head saying what I do will never be good enough. That is something I plan to save my kids from, I congratulate them on baby steps and encourage them to keep going. I’m not writing these things to get some sort of award or to say woe is me, it’s just my life and I’m thinking about it. I know what hard work is and can evaluate something as hard without it being the hardest thing humanity has ever seen. That’s how people are, unless it’s the most extreme then they don’t want to hear it. On the podcast I went over the story of the guy with a purple heart saying he has no room to complain because people lost limbs and I bet the people that lost limbs say they can’t complaint because people lost their lives. The attitude is a race to the bottom and the only winners are dead, I hate the way of thinking because it’s not progressing towards anything, the person wants to be a speed bump in the conversation. Waking up every two hours is interrupted sleep, we don’t need a PhD to be able to say that. When I don’t get enough sleep I get cranky and as naturally aggressive person will break everything around me if the world around wants chooses my low point to pick a fight.

3 September 2025

Yesterday was rough, hopefully we’ve turned the corner now. With the little princess being sick, she didn’t want to nap, the first attempt was a struggle and the second nap didn’t happen. Each time I try to put her down means 30 plus minutes of holding and rocking the baby. When things are going good she’ll finish a bottle and be falling asleep in under 10 minutes. All that extra work caused a couple of the muscles on my baby holding side to tighten up. Last night I slept on the heating pad to loosen things up. The range of motion in my neck has severally decreased since having kids, maybe some day I will get enough rest and stretching to bring it back. I was really at the end of my rope with the baby though. Usually I can calm a fussy baby down, but when they’re sick, especially an ear infection, they’re crying all the time. Being left alone with a baby that won’t stop crying is soul crushing. No one is coming to help, just have to wait out the storm, while still making sure she’s fed and clean. Often if the baby is sick she will throw up when placed on her back and that means a lot of cleaning, have to replace the sleep sack she’s in, pajamas, and bed sheets. There’s also the dilemma of whether or not to do this work in the dark, we are trying to go to sleep after all. There was some point I went to the other side of the house to scream. Today is already looking like a better day.

2 September 2025

The little princess has been sick, she initially got sick from her big sister starting daycare and apparently it’s almost guaranteed that a baby will get an ear infection after being sick because they lay on their backs all the time. She’s not sleeping well right now and yesterday morning I needed to get milk since we were out. I took the little princess with me to Walmart, I was in and out as fast as could be only getting milk. After checking out, I go to leave and some cart is blocking traffic, so I went around to exit. Crossing through the door the sensor beeps and the person calls me back. All I had in my hands were milk and a baby, I hand the employee my receipt that only has milk on it, $4.19 I remember because prices have been inflating over recent years. All the backed up traffic was now behind me. The employee asked me to step back inside, I hadn’t slept well and the baby is fussy, so I was not having it and told them that I’m going to leave. I don’t know why there are even people at the doors checking receipts when there’s no reason to stop for them, even when it’s their own equipment malfunctioning there’s nothing the employee can do except waste my time. Now when I need to make a milk run in the future, I know that’s not the fastest place to go.