I fell short of my first dieting challenge. I usually go to bed around 10 pm and at 9:30 pm I gave in to temptation and had something to eat. It was only a banana and some juice, but still it wasn’t in the diet, so three days of dieting was not accomplished. I’ll have to try again, in truth I had technically failed the challenge on the first day because I didn’t follow the diet foods, only stayed within calorie restrictions. I know there’s a big part of mental rewiring I have to go through and part of me may have wanted to screw up the challenge so I didn’t accomplish it first try then walk away undefeated. Another part could have been afraid of moving on to a harder challenge. I don’t know, it’s hard to know much these days, so I’m going to keep moving without knowing or caring. Not much has been going on because so much of yesterday I was saying, “Just get through the day.” and that was probably part of my slip. If I had been keeping myself busy, I wouldn’t have noticed my hunger as much. I’m trying to stay busy, but recent craziness has put me in a hole I’ve got to slowly work out of. I’m getting up, basically I had a month of sitting around doing nothing but over eating, so it’s going to take some time and a lot of work to break those habits. The comfier the habit the faster it sets in. For the record I’m going to call the recent craziness Vincent because I worry that some internet platforms have been throttled for using key words. I don’t really want to talk about Vincent, but his actions do have effects that lead me to use those key words.
Chris' Morning Pages 