Book Worm

Skating in at the end of the wire today. I’ve felt really tired today so I’ve spent most of the day watching this 24 hour livestream a guy did on twitch of him playing video games. I don’t know why resting makes me feel so bad. Probably because I still need to take care of myself when I rest and I treat it more like a free for all. Hopefully I’ll feel better tomorrow. The end of the month is quickly approaching, so that’s very exciting and after we close it will be a big relief. Then begins the process of moving, so crazy. Right now I’m probably in an anxious spot because I know there’s going to be a lot of work that needs to be done and I’m willing to do it, but I can’t get to work right now. That causes me to get into some sort of loop that tires me out and then I begin to worry that if I’m tired now, then I won’t be able to do the work in the future. That causes another spiral to think that my body is falling apart. Another thing I can’t understand is why I think my body is falling apart when I’m stronger than I’ve ever been in a lot of exercises. Maybe it’s because I’ll go a day without doing anything and that makes me think I can’t do anything. I don’t like thinking things will be better in the future because they’re good now. Life is amazing right now and I’m truly blessed for every minute I’m in control of. I want to read more, there’s a lot I want to learn. For most of my life I’m going to feel like I’m chasing a moving train and I need to catch up with my education.

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