8 August 2024

Starting a new exercise routine is going to require more time to rest, and I’m not trying to do anything big right now, just put myself in the best position I can before the new baby. With that I’m also trying to get into the VA at my new location, everything with the VA is a pain and in my opinion it’s designed that way because otherwise there would be too many people using their benefits. They already can’t keep up with the number of people that make it through, I could see online at my local VA the current wait was 61 days for a new patient to be seen. We tried to register online with no luck and that interaction took a lot out of me. The purpose of the organization is to help people, they know there’s a problem with how they work, and something as simple as making an appointment is not possible. I’m young and fairly tech savvy, there have got to be millions of people who can’t even log in because while they can’t make it easier to schedule an appointment, they will reset my password every 30 days and create new log in portals every couple months. Interacting with the VA is like banging my head against the wall and leaves me with a headache. Other than that I’ve got my oldest brother visiting the castle tonight and had to record the podcast yesterday as Thursday night is the usual recording time. They’ll only be here a short period of time which is fine and maybe I’ll get to go fishing. I have a memory of dealing with a hook in a fishes mouth as a kid, but other than that I don’t think I’ve ever done any fishing. Spending time in nature and around water is always nice though.

6 August 2024

The last of the tall grass got cut yesterday, the photo is of the area after it was cut since I like the contrast of green grass where it’s been cut regularly versus yellow and brown of a lot of dead grass. Today I did a little cardio exercise and it’s rough to get started. There’s been several times where I’ve taken long breaks from exercise and I’m familiar with the feeling of shaking rust off. It wouldn’t take long of regular practice to feel better, but right now it’s like I’m wearing lead shoes. We have rowing machine which is stored in the pole barn, so I ran down there, did some rowing and then went to run around the house on my way back. These were short workouts, especially with the run I know I could hurt my back doing a serious run without building up to it. Everything I did was a great start and it’s important for people celebrate small victories, it would be unrealistic to expect I can go from nothing for month straight into a marathon. There’s also the long game to consider, I have more in my life than just exercise. If going hard today negatively impacts the rest of my week, then I’m less likely to come back. Creating a habit is always more important than results, the results will come on their own in time. The other work I’m doing is trying to read more and I’m using my speed reading method. In the second year of the podcast I’d like to read more books and I’m currently reading almost twice as fast as I normally do, still I need to speed up to achieve my goal. Again that speed will happen if I’m consistent in my habit. I’ve also got my oldest brother visiting the castle at the end of this week.

5 August 2024

Lately my princess has had a word explosion, almost everything that comes out of my mouth she’s able to repeat, or at least attempt to. Recently we’ve been putting effort into reading with her more and I’m glad we are since I need to say more words. She’ll catch up to my abilities quickly and I have to increase acceleration to postpone it, a rising tide lifts all boats. Towards the end of pregnancy and the initial newborn I see as our weakest position and use that to calm myself whenever I begin to worry. I remember the exhaustion the first time around and remember I reached new levels of strength after recovering, but before restarting the cycle. Today I’ll be working on the patch of tall grass again, it shouldn’t take long to finishing trimming and then I’ll go over everything with the mower. Hopefully everything goes smoothly and I’ll release that from my mind. There’s still some coughing problems, mostly it’s a mental battle that I cough when I feel an itch which continues to the issue. I’d like to start doing some cardio exercise if I can find the time. I’ve finally added a pull up bar inside my house, it works better than I planned as I’ve found a tall doorway for it. Initially I was doing pull ups on a tree branch which I still like the idea, the only problem was the ground around the tree isn’t perfectly flat, so using a ladder to get up there was dangerous. Then I got a power cage that has pull up bars, but they were too low and there is a metal bar in the back that my feet kept hitting. As always I’m grateful for the experience and glad I found a resolution. 

2 August 2024

Most of the tall grass got cut yesterday, and I would feel comfortable driving my mower over the rest. On Monday I’ll likely finish what I started with the weed wacker, since the mower just got fixed I’d like to baby it for a little bit. Though I did use the mower to cut the forest ground, not the woody part, but where I’ve cleared before that had begun to over grow. Around January I’ll try to change the mower to mulching blades and clear more forest floor. There’s bigger machinery I could use except bigger cuts means more collateral damage. As I was clearing the forest the first time I was careful to avoid a lot of vines that I liked for the aesthetic and now that they’re growing I can see those vines are muscadine grapes, it’s a good thing I wasn’t cutting wildly. What I noticed while trimming the grass is the sound an engine makes when it’s overwhelmed, it’s happened with the mower before where I’m going too fast over too much grass and it shuts down. It’s interesting to build a relationship with a machine that I can hear it complaining, then I can take things easier. During my time cutting, I was working on my technique to see what is best. My hypothesis is it’s best to do a sort of sawing motion on the left side, though it’s not yet mastered and there were times I was swinging wildly out of exhaustion. There was also a need to continuously switch hands on the trigger and thus what side I hold the trimmer on. After I was done my hands continued to feel the shaking like I was still holding the machine for the better part of the day. It was a good days work and very satisfying to be able to walk around there again, I never like owning an area that’s inaccessible. 

1 August 2024

My queen is traveling for work today and I was left alone with the princess. I’m 36 and she’s over 2 years old, still the idea of being left alone with her scares me. We did the same things as normal and she was fine, inside I feel like I’m not an adult and don’t know what to do with a kid. That feeling of doubt will probably never go away, nor do I want it to, complacency kills and I’d rather be safe than sorry. When it comes to caring for the newborn though I’m confident in my abilities, I can say I’ve done it once and the second time will be easier. Being handed a crying baby doesn’t scare me anymore, I have the muscle memory. In the beginning I had to learn how to make the microscopic movement a baby needs, all my life I’ve done big movement with heavy objects. After this I’ll go out to do some yard work, there’s a patch of grass that grows fast. When my mower went down it got to an unreasonable height, so the landscaper didn’t mow it either and now it’s waist high in some parts. I’ll spend some time with the weed wacker making some big swings, once it’s cut back to normal tall grass I’ll go over it with my mower. Having that area cleaned up will be good, it’s on the edge of the forest and from what the landscaper told me it used to be some forest which would explain why it grows faster than anything around it. The tall grass invites wildlife, good and bad, but even good nature brings bad to humans. Deer sleep in the tall grass and they bring ticks. Snakes will also hid in the grass or I’ve even seen them on the edge of it. A tortoise has been seen there, but it wasn’t hurting anyone. 

31 July 2024

Yesterday was my birthday, I’m now 36 years old and didn’t feel doing any writing. As of late I’ve been less motivated to write and generally felt low energy, my guess is allergies since I shouldn’t be as tired as I feel. We’re now in the last month before the new baby comes and as I’ve been preparing our home, I’m getting less invested in the internet. The blog has been doing well lately which I’m grateful for, but in the first days of a new born I know that will be the only thing I have energy for. Right now it’s like I’m in a trilogy of books, the second one has already concluded it’s action and the third has yet to start. Every year I write a letter to myself to be read the next birthday, last years letter was mostly that life is good and stable. Right now I feel the same way and am prepared for the next big adventure. The first day of school was yesterday in my county, by the time my second daughter is the age of the first, the elder will be starting school. The adventures continue to rotate through the cast of characters. For myself the ever changing adventure is the land, the landscaper had killed some trees that will have to be replaced some day. Around November is when my grapes will be shipped, and yesterday I finally added more frames to my bee box. It had been awhile since I checked in on the bees and they seem to be doing well, I’m glad the land is a good environment for them. We’ll see how things go with the new baby, but I’d like to get started on chickens in the next couple years, even if it is just one as a pet. There’s a lot to learn. Every Winter I’ll work on clearing more of the forest, it shouldn’t be too long until the parameter is cleared, but it’s work that depends on free time.

26 July 2024

We had a rough recording of the podcast last night, there were technical difficulties that caused the Bois not to hear or see me at times. The problems shouldn’t be obvious to the listener, but whenever this sort of thing happen it puts a fire in me since it’s no fault of the humans. We’re doing the same things as always, but the computers are having a problem. Still it’s my show and a representation of me, I don’t like when things make me look bad, which was also something we discussed on the show. The combination of that discussion and technical difficulties has got me energized to strike back with a vengeance, shaking me out of grind building a channel. It’s me against me, nothing matter except that I hit harder than I did last time. The technical side of things isn’t me, it’s just a means through which people have access to me. Getting tangled up will slow me down. All that means I need to study, first I plan to read Henry Kissinger’s book Nuclear Weapons and Foreign Policy because I believe he shaped the world we live in today. He laid out his plan in that book and taught future leader in highly exclusive classes. Knowing the rules to the game will lead me to have better success in it. After that there will be a fury of growth as physically I’ll be bottle necked by caring for the newborn. I’m outraged with how people act and am going to assert the power I’ve always had despite people thinking we’re born to be controlled.