It’s coming up on 11 am Sunday morning. This has been a nice Sunday, I haven’t been so happy in a long time. Last night my wife and I hung out with another couple. The girl knows my wife from college and her husband has a B.A. in philosophy. Yesterday he said he’s read Dune four times, so you can guess my opinion on him. What makes me happy looking forward that relates to last night was talking about becoming a professional artist with new people. I didn’t call myself an artist, but said something like I decided recently to pursue becoming a professional painter. Talking about my life with some sort of certainty is what feels good. I’m terrified that this will lead to me being bored with art in three months and I don’t pick it up for years, but I can’t live my life based on those sort of fears.
If I want something, I have to be willing to commit myself to it. That’s not to say I’m forgetting that work has to be done. More important than any other aspect of life as an artist, I need to be creating. For right now the best thing I can do is draw, but if not doing that, hopefully something artistic. Draw everyday. What I’ve at least been able to commit to for the last couple days is the first thing I do when I wake up, sometimes even before peeing is draw. The last thing I do before I close my eyes is draw. Actually last night I just reached over for my pad and starting drawing, around 9:30pm I finished what I wanted to and I like to go to sleep at 10 but promised myself the last thing I do before closing my eyes would be draw, so I had to go to sleep a little early. The point is I’m working on drawing as much as I can. I have no therapy or woodworking this week, so I’m hoping this week will be very rewards to my inner professional.