Today is the big day. I’m going into the mountains for the weekend to draw. Wish me luck that I will be able to stay committed to the work I went there to do. Knowing myself I’ll try to take every out that I can. Part of the idea of this whole trip is to take away any excuses or distractions, but that’s the test. Does my mind create new excuses or does it say, “Okay, you win, I’ll do the work.” Whatever happens is still a victory in my eyes because it’s another step forward in dedicating myself to art. I decided after I’m done writing this to go to an exceptional used book store in town to see if I can find any good art books. I just heard about this manga called Lone Wolf and Cub that was well drawn plus I’ve had a gift card for the store since last Christmas. I always have a lot of fun just visiting that book store. The place is huge and they have so much that I never get past one or two shelves before it’s time to go. I’ll be honest with you, I’m scared about this weekend. I don’t usually handle my tests well, probably because I always set unrealistic standards which destroy me when I don’t meet them. To give an example of how my mind can work some times say I had a goal to draw for 30 mins and after about two minutes I’ll be saying to myself, “You’ve only drawn two minutes, you can’t do this, why do you try, you’re a failure, this is too hard.” I could very well be on the path to 30 mins, but I don’t even give myself the chance to see it through before picking myself apart. I’ll try to stay positive and conquer this beast.