Tiny Tinsel

I’m sitting in my living room next to my dog. I was watching some New Masters Academy videos, a challenge I laid out to myself was to watch a video everyday. I don’t know how I could fail at that. If a person doesn’t have one stupid video they watch in a day that they could replace with an educational video, then they’re already the most productive thing I ever heard of. I was just starting to read some books when I remembered I should take care of my morning pages. I still haven’t done any drawing yet today and that’s fine because I have the live drawing tonight and know I’ll get in a couple hours. That doesn’t mean I don’t continue learning though. With my new perspective I was a little worried that I won’t be reading because it’s more important to be drawing from these books than reading generally. Not that they don’t have good information, but the person who has read every art book in the world and never made a stroke can’t create what they want to. The milage needs to be reached with the hands, that’s what I want. I said I didn’t draw yet so yeah there’s a bit of failure in that, the mindset I need to overcome is to go from viewing my progress by the minute to at least by the day or best assessing my progress over years. What leads to me burning out is every minute I’m saying to myself, “You’re not working this minute, so you’ve decided to give up?” I think everyone has a dark sided voice in their head, an argument for not learning is it just makes that bad voice smarter too. Though no matter what both the good and evil inside of us will only know as much as we do.

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