I was doing my mindfulness and wanted to think more on the experience. The idea of mindfulness is something taught during the group therapy, so I haven’t done it since we last met in November. What I do is sit still for five minutes a day and try to keep my mind quiet. It’s the activity of keeping my mind quiet I want to explore because it’s so difficult. You’d think that if I was in control of my own thoughts, I’d be able to turn them off for a measly five minutes. I doubt I can go five seconds without some words popping in. It sounds similar to a scratched CD, is that an experience people can still relate to. Oh, when you’re trying to listen to Spotify, but your signal is spotty. It’s like there’s a hole in my head that words are constantly pouring out of and even when I try to cover it, the thoughts are a liquid that seeps through. I get to the point where I’m saying in my head, “In” and “Out” along with my breathing. It’s not complete silence, but if my mind has a little bit of focus, it’s more controlled.
I like doing the mindfulness/meditation though I’m not good at remembering to do it daily. I get a certain rush of energy afterwards. Almost as if having that quiet time gave my brain a chance to catch its breath. Maybe that’s the theory behind those people who only sleep in 20 minute intervals. I hear Da Vinci was like that. He also put his pants on backwards and cross legged. He has a very strange legacy, like what is he famous for? I know he worked like mad, I have a book of his writings and it’s thousands of pages. Then there’s the paintings and inventions, but in his time he was criticized for not painting more. Which, yeah, who doesn’t wish he did more painting? Who doesn’t wish they do more painting?