It’s morning, my wife said she didn’t understand what I was saying yesterday. When I feel like I’m making the most sense seems to be when I’m at a loss. I’m trying to think about my word choice more selectively. Its possible I’ll get lost down my own rabbit hole. When tripping I say everyone is having 3-5 conversations at once. What those conversations are will differ for each person, but there’s usually one conversation everyone agrees to and that’s the one that is had out loud with words. Words have multiple meanings, an artistically good sentence intentionally tells two different stories when the word is looked at from two different meanings. That would be called a double entendre. I’m not yet good enough to scale this up from words to sentences to paragraphs that tell a coherent story from select avenues of approach. Taking it up another level would make a good book. Maybe someday, but it depends on challenging myself with focusing on these words.
There’s so much I want to do and I have so little time, I feel I should push myself to do more, but I can’t yet. I’ve chosen art to focus on and that’s what I’ll do, but I know I can do more without crashing. I have to build up to that strength. BEN will be a deep resource if I use it properly. I’ve been told of the attitude shift I need to have. While this past week I’ve wanted to tell him, “Let’s get to work”, I needed time to prepare myself to learn. Casting off my pride so I can absorb as much knowledge as he’s willing to share with me and to be grateful for the opportunity to be here, also that someone thinks I’m worthy of their time. He’s going to invest in me with the expectation that he’ll get little or nothing in return, that’s a miracle.