My tooth ache wasn’t bad as I thought it was though it’s still bad, I have an infection that’s causing the pain and antibiotics should help. I’ll still need surgery to solve the root of the problem or it’ll continue to get infections, I know that’s true because this happened already years go and I ignored it then. I’m happy to be at a point in my life that I can take care of myself and the dentist said everything else looks great, not bad for not having seen a dentist since 2012. There was also a strained muscle on the other side of my body that I was able to relieve by sleeping on a heating pad. Now I’m trying to rest as much as possible, of course I was doing some unpacking this morning that I probably shouldn’t have. I’m excited to unpack, but am limited by my body’s capabilities or “the spirit is willing but the body is weak.” Other than that I’m mostly walking around the land to get a feel for it while teaching the dog his boundaries. We don’t have a fence like we did at the last place which means there will always be a danger of him running off, he’s a hunting dog and if he gets focused on a critter there’s no calling him back. We accepted the offer we got on the old house and are under contract, there will be an inspection today, that’s likely to be the only possible hang up. Hopefully all goes well and the buyers are equally motivated as us for a fast closing. Today might be my first rain at the new house, I’ve alway loved watching the rain and the new house has a lot of good options for rain watching.
26 February 2024
We made it through the weekend, of course now my body is letting me know every pain I’ve been ignoring for the last couple weeks. There’s a tooth ache I beat down years ago that’s reemerged and now I’m going to have to see a dentist about it. Other than my body needing to recover, everything is good. The big tree in the driveway is fine to stay there for awhile since we have another entrance. We’re going to tour a new daycare today and hopefully be enrolled soon. On Sunday we’re going to be driving to Disney world to celebrate a successful move and somewhere in all this I’ll try to get more rest in. I suspect the tooth will need some serious work which could result in me being on bedrest. Our old house got it’s first offer and it seems like a good one, so unless a better offer comes in the next couple hours we’ll accept that one. We’re most concerned with being rid of the old place more than trying to get any deal out of it. We’ve got a new place we call home, I’ve even got a new jacket. Years ago an Army friend gave me a flannel jacket to say thanks for helping him. I’ve worn that flannel almost everyday and now it’s fallen apart in some places. My wife bought me a new jacket just like the old one except a new color, I think it’s nice to have a new uniform for a new location. The uniform also serves as something like power armor for me, I’m imagining now how the Power Rangers had different colored outfits. The second episode of the Wrecking and Rapping podcast is now out on Spotify and Youtube, so please check those out to learn more about the project.
23 February 2024
We’re back online, sort of, we got some sort of hotspot device that people would use while camping or travel to provide internet. The connection is slow, but we’re working with what we’ve got. What I got when I arrived at the new house was a fully grown tree had fallen across my driveway. If these was my first house I’d be more upset about it, by now I know this is the order of the universe and I thank God for the opportunity to overcome this hurdle. There are a lot of hurdles ahead of me, I’ve nearly tripled the size of my previous land. After we sell the old house I’ll have money to buy a tractor and that will help lighten the load. My lawnmower won’t start, it was transported on the truck and my fear is that some gasoline rattled into somewhere it shouldn’t be, I didn’t know the tank was supposed to be empty. With moving there were so many moving parts at once that decisions had to be made, the truck filled up without all of my stuff on it so I had to decide what we weren’t taking. When I arrived at the new place both the movers and the delivery of the new fridge arrived at the same time, while dealing with those two teams I got a call about my daughters health insurance. Again, if this was my first rodeo I would have been freaking out, but this is how it is. We’re in the new place now and we’ve established a basecamp, it will be a long time before we’re fully unpacked and yet things will continue to get better. The worst is over, that is something to celebrate. I don’t really know what my next move will be, for awhile I’ll be trying to rest as much as possible. I did manage to record the second episode of the Wrecking and Rapping podcast, check that out hopefully tomorrow.
19 February 2024
Today is moving day, or at least packing up the truck day. Movers are coming to pack up a truck tonight and tomorrow it’ll be delivered to the new house. I can’t guarantee consistency in my work for the next couple weeks, least of all because the house won’t have internet, but I’ll be busy. I’ve been busy, and I’m still sick. My wife and I rested as much as we could, rotating packing, caring for the baby, and resting. We’re getting it done though, looks like the plan should work well. The wife and baby leave today on their own journey, I’ll leave with the truck tomorrow escorting the dog, and the cats have been dropped off at my sister in law’s. Moving has to be one of the worst things for an adult to do because it takes so much to coordinate. I say adult because from about ages 17-30 I was living in a new place every year and the Army had me living out of a bag; in truth it was two duffle bags and a ruck sack. Laying down roots make it painful to pull them up though without the ability to lay roots a creature doesn’t begin to live. Our modern world with short attention spans ignores depth, people think more information is good and they don’t discriminate on what that information is, instead thinking truth is good and more truth is better. Focus on one thing, let it grow roots, that is becoming one with your environment, then the individual and the environment begin to shape each other. People are afraid to loose themselves to the whole, they stay grounded, never learning to fly. There is more out there than anyone can tell you, it’s painful knowledge to acquire.
14 February 2024
I’m still dealing with a cold so this might be short, I also found out this morning that the new house might not have internet for a month so I’m trying to think of what I will have to do to adjust around that when I don’t have energy for it. I guess I’ll go rest after this, nothing else is going on so I can lay down thinking how miserable I am. I see signs of depression in people and people thinking it can be fixed and goes away. I can be happy for a long time and when something bad happens, no matter how small, it can put me in the hole. The hole is always a second away, it doesn’t matter if it’s been years since I’ve seen it, I carry it with me. Another reason I stay on top of people to maintain a positive mindset is because their attitude can easily shift mine. I hope my attitude help lift others, but there’s no shortage of negativity in this world, many an industry is built on it. Keep moving on, that’s all there is to do, tomorrow is another day, the sun will shine again and I can dance in the rain. Being sick is hard to mentally overcome.
2 February 2024
We closed on the house and the baby is feeling better, I am relieved. When it rains it pours, important events always seem to stack on top of each other. Yesterday the baby wasn’t eating and that’s incredibly stressful, like watching a timebomb count down, thankfully today she’s been better. This morning she was snacking then she ate all of her lunch and milk before going down for a nap, I hope she sleeps well. Long time readers might remember when I became a king, now I control a collective of almost 10 acres. I’m still half an acre short of 10, but we have to work with what we’ve got. On both sides of the new house are 12 acre lots and down the street they’ve got 40 acres, so I’ve got a lot of conquering to do. The one neighbor has a horse farm, that will be good for building my cavalry. I’ve always enjoyed archery and I have a feeling my daughter is going to be able to fire a bow while riding a horse, strange how the apple can fall so far from the tree while remaining close. Looking forward in the week, I’ve the second recording of the Wrecking and Rapping podcast on Thursday and the movers are scheduled for next Monday. My throat is saying I might be getting sick, I’ll rest as much as I can. Hopefully most of my life will be waiting until next Monday and of course keeping the baby satisfied, there won’t be much energy for anything else. We’re doing it though, keeping the dream alive, not sure whose dream. On one hand I must be living my dream, though on the other hand these dreams are new to me and this is not how I imagined my life at all, I’ll say it came about by continuing to fight. I will continue.
12 Febraury 2024
What a weekend, I got the podcast online at spotify and youtube, the links will be at the bottom. Yesterday and today have been rough, it seems like the baby has some sort of stomach bug and she struggling to eat. Last night she threw up in her bed and now the whole rooms smells, I did my best to air it out this morning, wash everything, and spray lots of air freshener. We’re supposed to close on the house this afternoon which will be a relief to be done with though we’re not exactly celebrating with a sick kid. This morning I was walking around around the yard, still clearing out fallen tree branches when I realized there’s no reason to do that anymore. This time next week we’ll be packing the house onto a truck saying goodbye. Bittersweet is the best word I have for the situation, I don’t really know what part is bitter and what is sweet at this point, I know there’s a whole lot of emotions going on. Staying calm is the best I can do, but the baby is my weakness. I’m always saying, “No free lunches” and I expected this to be the same. Keep my head low, push through and tend to the baby, this too shall pass. Soon it will be Spring, we’ll be enjoying our lives again looking for new challenges because what else can a person do? If you don’t seek out struggle, it will find you, at least continuing to challenge myself makes me stronger though I do look forward to a long rest someday to regain my strength. I was doing sets of push ups this morning and life was gettings stressful, so that can wait until some other time. Please check out the podcast and let us know what you think.
9 February 2024
A great pressure has been released, we got started on creating a podcast. I’d like to say the hardest part is over and while starting is one of the hardest parts, with any journey it will get harder the longer we continue down the path. Progressive overload is what we practice, lift heavy, get stronger, lift heavier, of course I’m speaking about life in general. Next comes editing and uploading to various social medias. There are worlds within worlds on the various apps that I’ve yet to explore, we set sail into the uncharted internet. Which is bigger and scarier, the ocean or the internet? Tough to answer, but it’s easier to avoid the ocean. A person that never goes online would be interesting except there’s no way I would meet them unless they stumbled onto my property. Even avoiding the ocean and internet, a person likely depends on both in ways like shipping and food. The world is a connected web where a person can’t really say they don’t do such and such, maybe not directly but when looking closely I’m sure a connection can be found. My belief is that anything can be found anywhere because on looking for something we begin to manifest it in the real world. Time is the equalizer, here today gone tomorrow and vice versa. Now that I’ve started this new adventure I will let time work its magic for a bit before I go looking towards what my next move will be, something will reveal itself, having faith is important.
8 February 2024
Today is the day, I finally will start recording my new podcast. Last night I got online with my brother to test out our equipment, he’s got something going on with his headphones that I’m sure we’ll sort out quickly. On the recorded side of things it sounds good, yesterday made me feel comfortable in what we’re about to do because I know I can talk forever about nothing and my brother can do the same. When we add the third partner in crime we’ll have a purpose to stay on track. Recording with my brother will be transformative, I shared a room with him for longer than probably anyone in my life and after we were done talking last night my brain began to wander on what that means. Almost 20 years have passed since I left for the Army, at that time I was regularly hanging out with my brother Alex, he’s going to use his name on the show anyway. I left home and left who I was at that time, he didn’t, even though so much time has passed the familiarity built by all the time we spent together is still there. He’s loyal and maybe knowing he would be there meant I didn’t put effort into maintaining things, maybe I can make right on that. That’s not to say I think I did anything wrong, I needed to grow up and my path took me around the world. What I wanted to accomplish is done, but those were childish dreams that had little detail, now I’m understanding a different meaning to being strong. Part of being strong is taking care of those around you or at least making sure they can stand on their own. I believe the bois have a lot of potential and together we will see new heights.
7 February 2024
The days are looking pretty repetitive right now, I’m getting into the nitty gritty of clean up and packing. Knowing that things are in a good place I’ve started exercising again, after taking time off I’ll have to take time to get back into the swing of things. More push ups, on the quest for 100 consecutive push ups, last week I started with 10. On Monday I was doing 20 consecutive push ups, that was my old average and I want my new average to be 35. My thinking is as simple as make number go up, if that happens great and if not then I still did more than zero. With my brain being so scattered, circling around numbers is a form of rest. My mind is also in a weird place with starting to record the new podcast tomorrow, it has it’s own check list to keep track of. There are topics that I want to talk about with the bois that I have to keep myself from exploring on my own, and I had made the decision to refer to my cohosts as the bois since it’s ambiguous and gender neutral. All is waiting for now, waiting and working, hurry up and wait of course is a favorite past time. These next couple weeks will probably feel like time slows down as my house gets stripped of all furniture and carpets, the walls have been bare. Walking around the property I get a funny feeling as it used to be mine, it still is in ownership but not in my spirit, I’ve got a new mess to deal with in another state. Someone else will call the work I’ve done theirs and might even dislike. I often think how all the trees I’ve planted could be cut down in an afternoon. They belong to the world now.
Chris' Morning Pages 