I took some time off to think. I had talked to Ben about working more, then I got a strange message from him that made it feel like I was expected to work more. I didn’t like that. I understand where he’s coming from that he wants to get his work done, but I want to get my work done; that’s ultimately why we can’t work together. On Monday I’ll message him back saying I’m not going to come back so I at least have the weekend to think about this decision and if its what I really want. While working for him and going to my painting class, I’ve been at my lowest level of drawing production since November, that tells me what is good for me and what is bad. I talk with Ben about isolation and the dangers of it, I agree with him a lot, but we’re different people and some degree of isolation is healthy for me. I struggle because society says we should all be extroverts and socializing is valued. I think a sense of community should be valued over socializing and we can’t have extroverts without introverts. Some people thrive in a crowd and some work alone. My wife and I have everything we want. Maybe we’ll build a castle around ourselves and have a wonderful life for awhile until one of us dies. It will be hard, maybe impossible by then to step outside of the castle, but you can’t have a good place without a bad place. I know what makes me happy and what doesn’t, I’d be willing to wager I know these things more than the average person knows their self, so I won’t be told I need to live differently when I’m happy and not hurting anyone else.