Straight out the gate and turn right

Pilea growing something new

Sorry I didn’t write yesterday. I’ve been tired lately. Allergies are popping now and then there’s this crazy world. I was supposed to visit my Army friends this weekend, but I’m not going to. The way things are constantly changing, I don’t want to get stuck somewhere else and not able to come home. Today I’m trying to rest and recover. My brain doesn’t stop working because the body does. It would be nice if this brain energy would turn to reading, but when I’m not doing my cycles my body wants to shut down. Most people are in a similar shut down modes now, I think of it as new things cause us to stop and observe. I want to make changes to my life, but then when I think about what I should do, I realize things are already how I would like them. Maybe it is just about rest. I’m watching my weight more lately as is the rest of the country I’m sure. Keeping my self from gaining weight is probably number one on my mind. Not eating means I’m more likely to get some rest in because I’ll have no energy. Part of why I didn’t write yesterday and I feel like I shouldn’t be writing now is because I don’t know. What don’t I know? I don’t know, that’s a sign to me that I’m tired. Seconds before passing out, I’m looking around for something to grab on to. I’ll rest now, but I have this fear that if I rest an hour today then it’ll be two hours tomorrow. It doesn’t have to be that way and it probably won’t, I’m probably not even afraid of that and I only tell myself that to keep myself from resting. I’m sure I’ll feel better tomorrow.

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