Amor Fati

Today I’m 32 years old. That seems crazy to say, I’m just a kid. I remember sitting on my parent’s front stoop grinding Ritz crackers on the concrete to make them square, and only last year I ate dirt for fun. Being in my thirties makes me an adult, how did this happen? I’ve been divorced, was in a war that no longer exists, and now I have a mortgage. I guess growing older sneaks up while you’re out playing games. I’m not the same person I was when I was younger, thank god, but I’m not even the same person I was three years ago. I love learning and building because those activities over time make for a powerful combination. Hopefully my past makes my progress down this road exponential, but learning how to learn saves a lot of time when I jump around to different hobbies. I’m sitting here asking who I am at 32, but I’m just getting started. I’ve finally been able to buy land this month. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll be “getting started” for probably the next five years, but “You’ll always over estimate how much you can do in one year and under estimate how much you can do in five.” Maybe I’ll start to think of myself as an adult and pay people to do back breaking work instead of doing it myself, that would be good growth. Who I am is someone that will keep throwing myself at a task until one of us collapses. I think everyday is an opportunity to be a better self, that the only way to grow is to learn from my mistakes and avoid them in the future. I’ll be put in situations to make mistakes again, that’s for sure. I can have all the knowledge in the world, but if I don’t use it, then I haven’t learned anything. I believe the world is a beautiful place, well the world is an indifferent place, but humans can choose how it’s perceived. I do my best to love fate. 

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