25 January 2024

Hopefully I don’t get canceled for saying India has a caste system. I’m not hating on that except to the extent I’m granted by America’s founding fathers to say no one is born above another. There is a necessity for boundaries and those divided must agree with their opposite where the lines are drawn. Recently I was advertised the book Flatland, it’s a medieval book depicting a hierarchy with shapes that the more sides a shape had the higher it is in society. A new side is added for each successful generation and circles were royalty. The book gained significants not because of social commentary, but because the story took place on a 2 dimension plane. The social commentary is also valid as squares don’t mix with triangles and lines need to be screeching for safety. When the lesser shapes start getting big ideas they can stumble into a world not possible for them to understand, the third dimension. Then again the sphere did appear to a square. There needs to be a proving ground that keeps wild ideas from taking over, in capitalism we call it the invisible hand of the market. A person can have the greatest idea ever thought up, but the timing or execution could be wrong leading to a flop. An idea that can’t manifest in the real world is fantasy and telling a fantastic story doesn’t indicate someone will be a good leader. The hero within me is always drawn to the trails of Hercules, even the son of Zeus had to prove himself. Yesterday we went to the mall where I bought a playing card of Disney’s Hercules, I already own an ancient coin minted of Alexander the great with the nemean lion on his head in the style of Hercules. Thousands of years apart we are chasing the same ideals.

24 January 2024

“They lived happily ever after” is the biggest fantasy to children stories, it serves as a way to say the end of the story when in reality happiness is earned everyday. When working to be happy everyday, at what point does it become work at the cost of happiness? These are all words, stop looking for answers in the noises that come out of man’s mouth. Life is to be lived and language is attempting share the experiences along the way. Working to be happy is a way, to reach out and grab happiness, have a cookie, then it’s gone. Do we have another cookie to chase that dragon or stuffer the pain of starvation? If the goal becomes saying no to cookies, then it’s success over suffrage. It’s perspective, the world is mind. People might reject this saying they would never put themselves in such dire straits, but searching for a way to disprove a happy mindset is just that. We’re all in a bubble that makes it hard to see the outside, I don’t know if people can learn on their own or if nature forces new information into our bubble leaving us to grow or shrink back. Progressive overload is the phrase used with weight lifting and it can be done to personality as well. Where one is likely to be stumped in the beginning is figuring out which side is up. The cookie tastes good, but too much is bad, it also doesn’t happen instantly which leaves a disconnect as to what caused the bad. This is where leadership and rules are necessary, it may seem like oppression. Everyone is born a child, not everyone grows up despite what the years may tell them. 

23 January 2024

The baby went to daycare today and I was able to catch up on some much needed rest. Everything has basically been a blur for the last week and it will still take a minute for me to get my bearing and figure out what’s happening in life now. There’s a phrase in my head that I’ve been trying to clean up, making it more compact and understandable, since my brain is still tired I’ll write about it now to air out some ideas maybe getting to the desired result. “How can you do something I can’t, without being able to do everything I can do?” First the struggle here is comparing two humans which we should never do because they’re so different, it’s also touching on the fact that humans have facets. The initial question presumes that progress is linear and that there is only one path that everyone must go through to get anywhere. That belief could be a limit to human thinking, we read in a straight line. Imagine a book compiled into an infograph where the words are larger based on their frequency used. The whole book would be visible in one image, but the story would be gone. To answer my question I think the facets help, people are born more like shapeless stones and through life those stones are polished in different ways. Making one side look exquisite might leave the rest neglected, while working on all sides may keep the stone from letting any brilliance shine through. There doesn’t seem to be any right or wrong method, my only guidance to people is that we have to put work into the stone like it or not. And it is a representation of the life we live, so it’s best to find a happy way to work.

22 January 2024

Last week I was wrong when I said the snow storm was almost over for the South, to this day temperatures have yet to go above freezing. My driveway is still frozen and even though we’ve parked at car at the bottom of the hill, walking down is still a dangerous trek. Being locked inside all week has possibly messed up the baby’s sleep cycle, the last two days she hasn’t been sleeping for her lunchtime nap. She goes down like normal then about five minutes later pops up and won’t fall back asleep. Days when the baby doesn’t nap are long, or at least they feel longer because I’ve lost a bit of sanity. Without a nap I have to provide and extra hour or two of entertainment without ever having my normal break, plus the baby is in a state of overstimulation with more energy than she ever has. Needless to say I’m tired, tired of the snow mostly, it has overstayed it’s welcome. This week I’m hoping to get some repairs done on the house, today we’re playing a trip to the hardware store for supplies. My wife has been helpful in researching what needs to be done and what equipment we need, my brain can handle new information right now. In a couple months I’ll be warm and life will be settling down, then my brain and body will recover to their previous state. A couple months ago I was a powerhouse of intellect, learning Mozart and speed reading, that stuff is mostly to keep me sharp during times of peace. Now is chaos and casualties are expected, we’ll be alright and come out on the other side stronger than ever. I have to be thankful for the challenges that allow me to grow. 

19 January 2024

I’ve been telling people for years that Winter is coming and do they listen? No, that’s alright I know one can’t prophet to their hometown. From here on I will be responsible for the 3,000 years peace, Leo’s peace. Atlas doesn’t tire from holding the world up, there’s no one else who could do it. Atlas is the one we owe our Earth to. I’ve taken it as a person mission to bring back Pluto as a planet. There is a celebrated birthday of Pluto, the day it was first “discovered”. That does bring to question what they mean by discover and who “they” are, Pluto is a bright thing in the sky, everyone that’s every existed had access to the sky. What angers me about a so called “they” that decided Pluto wasn’t a planet is that it seems impossible to delegate such power. The scientists clearly don’t understand what it means to be a planet, their definition is wrong and they’re imposing it onto me under a declaration that it’s truth. I can look up in the sky and see you’re wrong, Pluto is a planet. I believe it is the ancient Roman name for the god of death/hades, the ancient Greek name being Hades. There is a story of human history woven into the sky that we all share, a conversation with people thousands of years ago, they looked up and wrote down what they saw, what they believed in. Pluto will not leave the pantheon while I defend the gates. By my measurements that should be at least 3,000 years, hopefully after that humanity will have gotten their act together, but it’s hard to know what the world will look like after that long.

18 January 2024

The ice-capades of ‘24 are almost over, we made good use of the time yesterday getting some repairs done on the house. Some tiles needed caulking and I replaced a ceiling fan in the office. The old fan might have been from the original build since it had a 60’s look to it, but also it’s frailty. The reason I needed to replace the fan was that all of the previous fan blades had broken, one by one each fan broke by simply raising my hands. When taking off a shirt I’d lift my hands forgetting there’s something above my head, then smack and down falls a blade. That happened four times and we broke the remaining one intentionally. The replacement went about as well as I could hope, of course the circuit was turned off, but when I got in the ceiling and disconnected the wires there was an additional mystery white wire. I didn’t touch it though as I was pulling the old fan off the ceiling a small shot of electricity was transferred to me. No injuries were had and my wife gave good advice that we should wait until we aren’t stranded incase we need to go to the hospital, still I pushed on and got the job done. The reason we’re still unable to leave is our driveway is a big hill and everything is iced over, maybe today it will thaw and there should be rain tonight to help finish the job, then we return to normal. Part of me misses the snow as it is pretty and brings back memories of my snow job, but snow is a major inconvenience. Hot weather isn’t all sunshine, but it doesn’t stop me from walking down the driveway.

17 January 2024

Here down South we’re through the worst of it, this morning the temperature bottomed out at 6 degrees F. Some light searching last night showed the lowest temperature on record for our location was 9 degrees in 1889 and since our current house was built in 1969 this is likely the coldest it’s ever experienced. Thankfully nothing froze and I don’t see any new downed trees, the abandoned car across the street is still there. I’m definitely feeling a little stir crazy now, even without leaving the house I usually take a long walk around the property, but I’ve hardly stepped outside the last couple of days. Tomorrow should feel comfortable and in a couple days it’ll feel like Summer, I wouldn’t be surprised if we get a 60 degree day before the end of the month. Today was scheduled to be the closing date on the new house, we’re still waiting on some paperwork from my wife’s new job so it’s been pushed back a week. I’m happy about the postponement since it gives me more time to pack. Everything with any value is ready to go, where the pain of moving strikes is with the little things, there’s cracks and crevices filled with junk, I mean our stuff. After we move there will be a fun sort of adventure where we’ll unpack the essentials and everything else will remain hidden for sometime. We’ll forget what’s in the boxes and then it can be like Christmas where we only get stuff we like. Organizing space is the main challenge, balancing that with having access to our stuff and the limited energy to do everything. My hope is to at least be settled before the grass starts growing.

16 January 2024

A large evergreen at the edge of my property had several limbs go down last night. They may have been around 20 feet long and heavy enough that I could barely drag them on top of the icy snow, the trees here may have never felt like this before and I’m hoping the ones I planted survive. When I looked to the neighbor’s yard there were two adult trees that appear to have completely fallen over, they were already struggling in an awkward spot. Across the street a car slid off the road and abandoned their vehicle, it’s still there as of noon today and may be there for days since it’s on a hill that is unlikely to be salted or plowed. Tonight the weather is supposed to drop into single digits fahrenheit, so the snow will be lasting longer than normal. Disasters are interesting, not that this is much of a disaster though I’m sure it is to those most effected. I’ve been through my share of extreme situations, we were living in Houston during hurricane Harvey when people were driving boats in the streets, we lost power in the Texas Summer. I’ve experienced just about every snow emergency, flying off the road, spinning completely around on a highway, and shoveling all night long. What’s interesting about disasters is people are always worrying about them, then when I experience something they’ve been hyping up, it’s seems like another series of events. Even being blown up with an IED, it was how I expected it and I reacted how I planned to. Other people might struggle to do what they plan when the chips are down, but I’m pretty good at staying emotionally detached and following instructions. Things may be falling apart, but that doesn’t matter as long as we’re sticking to the plan.

15 January 2024

Cold days are coming, the snow has been falling all morning where we are. My daughter got to experience snow for the first time, that’s wonder, it may be the last snow in awhile as we’re moving further South. The amount of snow we’ve already gotten is probably considered a blizzard for here. When the snow is falling I have to reminisce about my days at Fort Drum. Since getting out of the Army I’ve spend most of my time in the South, snow went from being a part of my everyday life to once every couple of years and I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen more than two inches of snow. One of my fondest memories is doing land navigation in about four feet of snow, even my tall self struggles to step out of that much snow. I’ve said before that I love land nav, walking through the woods combined with math. When the Army does land nav, they give a couple different coordinates and the soldier has to go to those places where there will be a little placard with a symbol or letters on it. We’d write down the symbols for the different locations and return back to base. The problem with the military is the hurry up and wait system, we’re often training for a certain amount of time rather than to complete a goal. When I returned with the answers to my coordinates, the sheet was graded, I was given new coordinates and sent back into the woods. It was at that time that I walked far enough in to not be seen and I made a little home for myself sitting and eating snow. Those were good times.

12 January 2024

I had to take yesterday off because I was sick with a sinus infection. The Army bro was leaving and the baby was at daycare so I slept as much as I could. It feels like I’m on the upswing now, still I’m taking it easy. For the last couple days I was working to put the brakes on things because I could feel myself getting sick and this time last year I was some of the sickest I’ve ever been and that dragged on for weeks, maybe months, because I couldn’t take the necessary time to rest. Looking forward it’s more the same, packing and cleaning everyday, the other half of the Army bros. will visit Sunday to take away more of our stuff. He’ll have a trailer to fit more on though he’s taking the ugly stuff like fence poles and a tiny shed rather than indoor furniture. Then I’ll figure out a way to get rid of what’s still floating around. There’s a bedroom dresser set my wife bought used as a teenage that takes up a lot of room, we don’t use it because they give the clothes inside a cedar smell. My wardrobe is so simple that everything I wear is kept in a Rubbermaid bin and when the clothes are dirty they go to the laundry bag. There are more complicated clothes I have that are already packed, I hardly wear any of it now. My lifestyle over the last couple years has adapted to be all about efficiency, I have the same T-shirt brand the Army used in 12 different colors and two pairs of jeans. Complicated clothing will be back in my life soon, I made a costume shirt for my podcast and making my own clothes is the route I’d prefer to take.