17 October 2025

Yesterday I was writing about how tomorrow isn’t guaranteed and indeed it isn’t as last night the little princess was waking up in the middle of the night and by 5 AM she was ready to start the day. Those are some hard nights since there doesn’t seem to be anything I can do besides hold the baby, at least the screaming didn’t wake her sister. The reason holding at night is hard is because I want to lay down in bed and sleep, there’s no place to lay down with the baby and there’s a fear I’ll drop her if I fall asleep. What ended up happening is I’d rock the baby to sleep for a couple minutes and try to put her back down, then she’d scream and we’d repeat until the sun comes up. It’s annoying, but not world ending; I got good sleep the night before. Interrupted sleep is a reminder that I’m excess energy territory, everyday I’m trying to get through the day and hopefully the night. 

16 October 2025

Last night’s sleep went well, now onto today. Bill Murray’s Groundhog’s Day is an important piece of media because it exemplifies real life. We can do everything perfect today and still wake up tomorrow with a blank slate. The kids having a goodnight of sleep yesterday doesn’t really effect the odds of them going down easy tonight. Habit is an important lesson to learn in this philosophy, even though each day is a fresh start, our habits determine where we start from. Meaning things will change even when we can’t see it. How does that help me now? The kids are growing up, some how my baby turned into a little human while I was busy, now I’ve got a new baby learning. Even though I don’t see results today from what I’m teaching them, I keep trying for that perfect day and get lost in time until years have pasted and the kid is repeating what I said in the past. In terms of rewards for me, there’s nothing, I can choose to participate in their life and be happy with their progress. Speaking of we got the elder princess’ first report card from daycare, she’s doing well. The teacher wrote, “Smart girl! Love her!” and it makes me happy that people would like to be around my kid, much better than if I was being told my kid is being destructive and socially isolated. Destructive and isolated seems to describe me, I’ve gotten better at controlling my bad behavior. After a decade of caring for plants and a dog, I’ve learned to nurture things, though I still isolate. Care for things can be so frustrating, spending so much time creating a wall for this weak creature. One day it emerges better for it.

15 October 2025

Last night was weird, the elder princess is getting older and with that comes staying up later at night. We’re still trying to figure out where her sweet spot in time is and the best approach to get her to sleep at a new time, there’s also the looming of adjustment of day lights saving at the end of the month. The elder princess is 3 and most of her life she’s gone to bed before 6 PM, I can think of one night where the queen was out of town and I let the princess stay up to watch a movie with me. Outside of the movie she’s probably been awake past bedtime a handful of times. Last night was probably the latest she’s been awake, pushing past 8 PM. The main culprit keeping her up was her interest in Halloween, during the day we carved pumpkins and she wanted it in her room as night light. Then she got scared of the pumpkin, I took it away, but that wasn’t enough so I gave her a flash light and she calmed down. She didn’t fall asleep though, the flash light was a new toy I had to later come back and turn off. After all that I laid in bed with the princess for a bit until later the queen was able to get her to fall asleep. At least she’s sweet and I like hanging out with her, especially as her sense of humor develops. 

14 October 2025

We’re back from a long weekend, we used the time off to visit the beach. We were in the Gulf of America and I was able to get that on a t-shirt. Along with a Gulf of America shirt, I’ll be keeping my eyes peeled over the next year or two for some good 250th birthday merch. The past weekend was possibly our best vacation yet and it had one of the scariest starts. About an hour into our drives we stopped to get gas and when it was time to get going again, the car didn’t. The battery died with no warning and the fear of being in the car with two and a dog with no way of moving set in fast. Thankfully, we couldn’t have broken down in a better spot. Not only were we in shade at the gas station, but across the street was an Auto Zone and two mechanics. We got a mechanic to walk across the street and check out the car. I was trying to start it while he looked under the hood and it was frustrating to have a push button start. With a key ignition, it is possible to pump the gas and turn the key in such a way to get over the hump of a weak battery and start the car. All I could do was push a button, there’s also a string of activity the car does before starting the engine like turn on lights, the display, and AC, thus destroying any hope to get the car to start. The mechanic helped us with jumper cables, but it didn’t work. We were able to get a new battery at Auto Zone, they drove it over and installed the battery. We got back on the road in under an hour, it was amazing and I’m still a little shock at the possibility of being stranded with the kids.

8 October 2025

Yesterday I was able to tighten the belt on diet for the first time in awhile, I have to actually look at how many calories I’m intaking to do it properly. I don’t have to expend to track calories, so my strategy was to not eat. This isn’t fasting, just a constant reminder to stop snacking. As a result to eating less I’ve been reminded why dieting is so difficult, today it feels like there’s a spike in the base of my skull. I once tried to cut all added sugar out of my diet and was faced with some terrible headaches. Modern foods are terrible addictive to the point it hurts to stop eating them, and it’s only getting worse with the rise of Ozempic. My understanding is the medication makes food less desirable and that cuts into snack food companies’ profits, they have been researching how to overcome the ozempic pandemic. The future to this thinking is the population will be eating food genetically engineered to overcome our biological controllers. The result is new illness mankind has never seen before. I don’t have opinion on the ethics of it all though my inclination is to stay in nature and the real world. That belief conflicts with my real life of computers and cars, but it’s an attempt to stay safe by continuing what we’ve done in the past. Still “real foods” are far from natural. The way modern corn looks like it does is by breeding it to have exponentially more food, the intermediate species in the process can’t survive or reproduce on their own, I’d call that unnatural. 

7 October 2025

This morning I noticed one of my neighbor’s houses had been TPed, or vandalized with toilet paper. Vandalize feels like a strong word for soft as bottom tissue and for Halloween the visual is appealing, still if it was my house and was done in ill will then I’d have no trouble calling it a crime. Luckily there was heavy rain last night and the toilet paper won’t be around for long, the remnants might linger for the month though. I’ll probably keep an eye on the house to see the decomposition process because I do like the idea of toilet paper decorating for Halloween, maybe TP myself with the family some day, it also seems like fun to throw the rolls. To be clear I did not attack my neighbors house, nor have I ever TPed a house, that’s why I need to imagine what it’s like. On further thinking my guess is it’s hard to throw the perfect toilet paper roll since it would ideally have a long tail as it flies. The reality is the paper would probably rip mid flight if the tail got too big and heavy. Now I’m thinking about how exhausting decorating is, why would I want to get out of bed in the middle of the night to go decorate someone else’s house when they won’t even appreciate it. The only bright side will be if it’s biodegradable and no one has to clean it up. Throwing paper towel rolls could be an improvement, if for no other reason than to confuse your enemies.

6 October 2025

Hit the ground rolling, had the dog waking me up at 4 AM again, this is why everyone’s cries for help have to be ignore. Help someone once and then they expected everytime. He’s a good boy and sleeps in his crate the full night, it might be him getting older. As the babies get old enough to sleep through the night, the dog will get too old to go all night without a potty break. The little princess might have a cold because she is fighting sleep right now. She seems fine, the only explanation I’ve got is her nose is stuffed up and when she lays down it becomes uncomfortable; lots of wake ups last night and this morning. The elder princess had another soccer game this weekend, she’s doing great. In free time we mostly play, she does lots of drawing and painting, but we have lots of activities at the house and rotate through them. I had my first religious teaching with the elder princess since as her father I take it to be my right to discuss such things with her. She know the world “heaven” due to school, it’s mentioned in teaching how to write numbers. Since she knows heaven I branched off of that, we started In the beginning God created heaven. She got to see my Bible and could notice the number 1 next to the words noting the verse number. Life is so interesting, the first book is Genesis and it’ll be awhile before she knows what that word means. There’s a long journey ahead of her and for all of us.

3 October 2025

Finally Friday, that doesn’t mean much to me since the weekend is when the elder princess is home all day. We do have a soccer game tomorrow which is nice. Sleep has been improving even though last night I was woken up by the dog crying to go outside. Everyone wants our wake up time to be 6 AM, but I won’t allow it. Even if we did start waking up earlier, they would push the time earlier still. We had the same thing going on with the cats wanting to be fed at sunrise. If I’m responsible to provide everything, then we’re moving on my time. The dog is a case where I’ll adjust to him since he’s over 10 years old and doesn’t wear diapers, I don’t want him to have an accident. If the dog goes too long without going to the bathroom than he could get some nasty looking stuff, so I take care of him. What else is going on in life? We’re in a lull until the next storm, things are going well and we continue to prepare for what life has to come. I always feel like I’m stuck waiting when the reality is babies, I had to slow down for them to grow. For years I’ve been stuck at that pace and will remain there for years, the payoff for that time is the best reward life has to offer, I just have to be patient and continue to work hard. My health has to be my main concern, it’s not glamorous but I will get my life back as the kids get older and if I’ve ignored my health the whole time there will be less life for me to get back to.

1 October 2025

Strange morning for me, the little princess did her usual early riser thing, I gave her milk and she went back to sleep. She woke up 15 minutes before my alarm, then went back to sleep and is still sleeping at the time of writing this 8:30 AM. A lot of my normal routines are thrown off by this, usually she takes two naps a day, so today might only be one. She almost certainly has wet bedsheets by this time and they should be changed anyway. Hopefully sleep will beget more sleep. Good work was accomplished yesterday with painting my armor, currently I was thinking the painting idea was so good maybe I should be completely covering the armor in paint, it would save me from any future rust. A benefit of having steel is to see the steel, if it’s all covered then it might as well be plastic. The paint I used already was a white primer by Rustoleum because I needed something to grip the metal, allowing future paints a material to grip onto. The Rustoleum is an oil based paint while my top layer is a shiny gold acrylic paint. A difference between acrylic and oil that people might not know is that oil paint breaths for sometime. The oil is releasing gases for days and weeks after use, that means I have to wait to finish with the gold. What happens if acrylic is put over oil too soon, and I’ve done this before, is the oil will continue to degas and acrylic paint is like a sheet of plastic, the gases have nowhere to go and break through the acrylic, showing cracks in the paint. 

30 September 2025

There’s so much to do in a morning, the babies are still waking up a little early, it’s like they had their own daylight saving hour. At least they’re well behaved, if left alone with food and a toy they will usually stay pretty quiet. We’ve have a special alarm for the elder princess that’s a star and it turns green when it’s time to wake up, for the half hour before that the star will be red indicated for the kid to stop, before that she’s just screaming in the dark. The elder princess has gotten good at telling me what the colors red, yellow, and green mean. After getting her to daycare and feeding the little princess I still have to write this before the little one goes down for her first nap. Because I can’t stop my brain from bugging me, this morning I was back to work painting the ampersand on my armor. The major painting is done and it looks like the right direction, I’m sure something silly will appear. Once the painting is done and dried I can put the vinyl sticker on and see how the idea came out. There are still many question as to what I’m doing and why, at the very least I want to talk to people. I’m very reclusive and most weeks only talk to babies and my wife. There’s also the constant quest to be better in competition with relaxing and enjoying myself, there’s no telling what the right ratio is. As I get done tasks, I’ll have energy for more, like this painting that sit in the back of my mind the list of tasks is exhausting even when I’m not working. Everything is good, I just want to be prepared.