21 January 2026

Taking care of the girls is going well. Last night, the elder princess struggled to fall asleep and I watched her run across the dark house to go potty. She didn’t know I was hiding in the shadowing. I’m happy to see her being able to move around in the dark. It’s one good thing for her to not start crying in the dark, but being able to walk and even see in the dark becomes a useful skill. An important lesson to traveling at night is how our eyes work. The two types of photoreceptor cells in the eye are rods and cones, that means cells that react to light and send that signal to the brain. Rod shaped cells specialize in low light and cone shaped cells are better adapted to see in bright light and colors. The anatomy of the eye has more cones in the center and more rods on the peripheral, so when walking at night don’t look at where you’re going. Using peripheral vision at night will make everything appear brighter.

19 January 2026

Today is a holiday and the elder princess is home from daycare. My queen is also going to congress to rewrite some laws, I’ll have the kids to myself for a couple of days. Over the weekend I was able to get my new flag hung all alone. It was a fun adventure that happened with few misshapes. Sharing a photo of the wall I hanging on with AI, it told me about hangers that would work for the type of siding the wall is made of. There are little metal hooks that go under the siding material, on the other side is a hook with a screw. First, I tightened the screws along the top of the flag and went about installing them. I had to stand on the tippy top of my ladder to reach high enough, technically that piece isn’t for standing and more technically the max weight on that cheap ladder is less than I weigh. Nevertheless I didn’t fall and the ladder didn’t break. Having a couple of tall items like the punching bag stand and white board were helpful to rest the excess flag on while I worked. My other accomplishment this weekend was another episode recorded and posted. For the episode that will be published at the end of this week, I was pleased with the research I did, it’s exhausting though and I won’t be able to do that much every week. My situation is that I constantly want to be better and it’s possible to succeed in part. After growth, rest is required to rebuild, the problem is time off feels like failure. I don’t have the solution, only that I have to be aware of my behavior to know I’m not actually failing.

The Prophetic Voice of John the Baptist WAR ep 78

Crusader delves into the biblical narrative surrounding John the Baptist, his call for repentance, and the significance of Jesus’ baptism. It explores the dynamics between different Jewish sects, particularly the Pharisees and Sadducees, and highlights the challenges posed by John to the religious leaders of his time. The discussion emphasizes the themes of righteousness, repentance, and the prophetic role of John in preparing the way for Jesus.

16 January 2026

My exercise has been going well. The main focus is still push ups, trying to raise my comfort zone, so I can speak while pushing. My claim is I’m still the strongest I’ve ever been, mostly because I weigh more than ever before. The other reason is doing clean and jerk with more weight than before. I like C&J as a total body exercise and am always telling myself to do more squats. Realistically my goal should be weight lose, but being big and strong is more fun than hours of cycling. Squats engage the largest muscles of the body and will burn more calories than any other weight lifting I can do. Thankfully I can still do pull ups, and at over 250 pounds that’s a serious lift. Recently, I’ve begun adding dips too. I hadn’t done dips in awhile because I didn’t think I was strong enough to dip at this weight. Thankfully, a couple years ago I figure out how to do this movements in an efficient way I’ve never done before. Almost 10 years after my military career ended and after a degree in exercise science, I figured out how to do a proper push up. It’s all about angles, muscles only pull so pulling in a straight line is the lowest difficulty. Taking push ups for example people dead hang then try to go up, they need to rotate their body to be as close to parallel as physically possible, then pull. I’ve even been working on my wide grip pull ups now for a wide back. Gotta love that V taper. 

15 January 2025

If you’re reading this, thank you. It’s reassuring to know I’m not alone. Yesterday, I was exhausted and didn’t even finish my goal of writing length. Some people were nice to throw me a like when I was stuck in my own world. The reaction was enough to spark the fire in me. I like that image, it felt like my car was rolling to a stop and now I’ve got the engine roaring again. Progress not perfection. My new flag was delivered, it’s 10 feet by 15 and I plan to cover a wall with it. Another decoration I ordered yesterday was an aluminum sign cut in the shape of the 10th mountain logo. The purchase was through the individual and I don’t know the last time I’ve done something like that. Meaning I had to speak to a person to order the product, no one click purchase. I had seen the guy’s work before and knew I wanted it, so I endured the process. Sending money through Venmo is more convenient than mailing a check, then he messaged me an image of the shipping label. We’ll see if it work, at least I don’t think I’m exposed to lose anything more than the purchase price. Outside of raising kids I’m been on my Bible study trying to understand the lay of the land 2,000 years ago and older. There’s a lot of names mentioned in the book and in the past I’ve never looked to see where the paces are. The story relies on going to different places and usually spreading the gospel, sometimes just to flee. My point is the travel has a role to understand what the people were going through. To know if someone walked 40 miles to be baptized or sailed hundreds to preach. 

14 January 2026

Yesterday was tricky, I’m still waiting to stabilize in 2026, though maybe the whole world is in that boat. The elder princess went back to daycare last week, but not on Monday like I assumed. This change left me struggling to get on the ball, then yesterday I dropped the princess and an hour later they asked me to pick her up because she had a coughing fit. During the day I feel too tired to be productive and at night feel jittery with pent up energy. This is giving my life to my kids, they deserve it. The nights have been wild now that elder princess is sleeping in a real bed instead of a crib. She can wake up at 5 AM and walk into our room. Keep pushing until some rest comes.

13 January 2026

I decided to abandon the novel writing project. Either I’m not in a place to write like that now or I’m not the type of person to write that. This sort of writing is exercise, it keeps me nimble and flushes my mind. Many days I would get frustrated by not wanting to write that story, so I wrote nothing. I knew it would happen and wanted to get out of the hole before digging deeper. Now I can return to my life and all the exciting changes that have happened in the new year, not much new. My show is back on the air and that’s a lot of fun. The live recording on Sunday felt good while I was speaking and when I was finished saw there were 30 life viewers; that’s amazing. Most of those view I attribute to there being a cat on the screen in the beginning, but we shouldn’t discount the good. The studying on my own time is going well. I’m feeling a deeper learning and when I don’t have time for practice during the week, I was still able to gain from the show. Looking forward, I’ve got some outfit changes planned for the show I know now that I won’t be able to wear steel armor in a garage during Summer heat. There’s a project I’m planning for memorial day that needs a lot of prep and days of recording. There is a challenge for veterans to do 22 push ups a day for 22 days relating to self harm statistics. As Winter thaws, more energy will become available. Today’s temperature is below freezing.

Wrecking and Rapping ep 77

This conversation explores the birth of Jesus Christ, focusing on his lineage, the structure of the Bible, the significance of names and terms, the gifts presented by the Magi, and the role of angels in the nativity story. The discussion emphasizes the importance of understanding these elements in the context of Christian faith and tradition.

Part 4

Then Joel saw a rack of clothes in the store, some hoodies and even better, sunglasses. If he was going to be tracked, then he’d need a disguise. He grabbed a hoodie with sunglasses and headed to the cashier.

“Good morning, find everything you need today?” she asked.

“Yes, thank you,” he replied.

When the cashier was finished scanning and bagging items, she asked if he was a rewards member.

“No. Can I get cash back?”

“Up to $200 on debit.”

Joel stood there thinking. $200 wouldn’t get him very far. He considered going to a couple stores to get as much as he could or maybe go to the bank and empty his account. Walking around with too much cash would create its own problems. Then the cashier brought him back to reality.

“There’s an ATM over there. Its limit is $500 if you need more.”

“Thank you, and can I get $200 cash back?”

He finished the transaction and made his way to the ATM. Pausing for a moment, he thought how it looked to be taking out so much. He was going on a trip, somewhere far away.

With his newly gathered treasure, Joel went into the bathroom. He walked in looking like himself, but was leaving as someone else. A hood and sunglasses were a good start. He’d need more later; then he decided to turn his pants inside out for a further disguise. Leaving the bathroom, Joel kept his gaze down and moved quickly to the exit. He had nothing in his hands, not the bag of clothes or the cash. Once outside, he kept walking, hopefully he could figure out where he was supposed to go.

Part 3

With no luck at boating supplies, Joel had to move on. He had too many questions and too many decisions to make. Weight began to build in his head, making him feel helpless. As Joel was collapsing on himself a train horn startled him upright.

“I can’t think!” he shouted. “Why are there helicopters out?”

When he thought about it, he’d been hearing helicopters all morning. Could they be following him? He began looking around and walking under a nearby tree. The odds of him being followed seemed impossible, though it wouldn’t be the first impossible thing of the day. He decided it was better to be paranoid and safe than risk his life. Pulling a phone out of his pocket, he remembered phones could be tracked and recorded. The same for his car. It was time to part ways with technology.

Joel went back to his car in the work parking lot. He dropped his phone in the glove box and closed the door. He was on his own now. Pulling out his wallet, he saw there was a lot of plastic and no real money. Anywhere he uses a credit card would be recorded with what he purchased. To get cash, he walked to the nearest grocery store.

Upon entering, the door rang a bell and a camera turned to face Joel, a red light blinking. He was being watched. He looked for what would be an inconspicuous purchase. A candy bar with maxed-out cash back might look strange. Not as strange as standing in the doorway, he began to walk the aisles. He was safe for the moment, just had to keep walking and looking around.