16 January 2026

My exercise has been going well. The main focus is still push ups, trying to raise my comfort zone, so I can speak while pushing. My claim is I’m still the strongest I’ve ever been, mostly because I weigh more than ever before. The other reason is doing clean and jerk with more weight than before. I like C&J as a total body exercise and am always telling myself to do more squats. Realistically my goal should be weight lose, but being big and strong is more fun than hours of cycling. Squats engage the largest muscles of the body and will burn more calories than any other weight lifting I can do. Thankfully I can still do pull ups, and at over 250 pounds that’s a serious lift. Recently, I’ve begun adding dips too. I hadn’t done dips in awhile because I didn’t think I was strong enough to dip at this weight. Thankfully, a couple years ago I figure out how to do this movements in an efficient way I’ve never done before. Almost 10 years after my military career ended and after a degree in exercise science, I figured out how to do a proper push up. It’s all about angles, muscles only pull so pulling in a straight line is the lowest difficulty. Taking push ups for example people dead hang then try to go up, they need to rotate their body to be as close to parallel as physically possible, then pull. I’ve even been working on my wide grip pull ups now for a wide back. Gotta love that V taper. 

15 January 2025

If you’re reading this, thank you. It’s reassuring to know I’m not alone. Yesterday, I was exhausted and didn’t even finish my goal of writing length. Some people were nice to throw me a like when I was stuck in my own world. The reaction was enough to spark the fire in me. I like that image, it felt like my car was rolling to a stop and now I’ve got the engine roaring again. Progress not perfection. My new flag was delivered, it’s 10 feet by 15 and I plan to cover a wall with it. Another decoration I ordered yesterday was an aluminum sign cut in the shape of the 10th mountain logo. The purchase was through the individual and I don’t know the last time I’ve done something like that. Meaning I had to speak to a person to order the product, no one click purchase. I had seen the guy’s work before and knew I wanted it, so I endured the process. Sending money through Venmo is more convenient than mailing a check, then he messaged me an image of the shipping label. We’ll see if it work, at least I don’t think I’m exposed to lose anything more than the purchase price. Outside of raising kids I’m been on my Bible study trying to understand the lay of the land 2,000 years ago and older. There’s a lot of names mentioned in the book and in the past I’ve never looked to see where the paces are. The story relies on going to different places and usually spreading the gospel, sometimes just to flee. My point is the travel has a role to understand what the people were going through. To know if someone walked 40 miles to be baptized or sailed hundreds to preach. 

14 January 2026

Yesterday was tricky, I’m still waiting to stabilize in 2026, though maybe the whole world is in that boat. The elder princess went back to daycare last week, but not on Monday like I assumed. This change left me struggling to get on the ball, then yesterday I dropped the princess and an hour later they asked me to pick her up because she had a coughing fit. During the day I feel too tired to be productive and at night feel jittery with pent up energy. This is giving my life to my kids, they deserve it. The nights have been wild now that elder princess is sleeping in a real bed instead of a crib. She can wake up at 5 AM and walk into our room. Keep pushing until some rest comes.

13 January 2026

I decided to abandon the novel writing project. Either I’m not in a place to write like that now or I’m not the type of person to write that. This sort of writing is exercise, it keeps me nimble and flushes my mind. Many days I would get frustrated by not wanting to write that story, so I wrote nothing. I knew it would happen and wanted to get out of the hole before digging deeper. Now I can return to my life and all the exciting changes that have happened in the new year, not much new. My show is back on the air and that’s a lot of fun. The live recording on Sunday felt good while I was speaking and when I was finished saw there were 30 life viewers; that’s amazing. Most of those view I attribute to there being a cat on the screen in the beginning, but we shouldn’t discount the good. The studying on my own time is going well. I’m feeling a deeper learning and when I don’t have time for practice during the week, I was still able to gain from the show. Looking forward, I’ve got some outfit changes planned for the show I know now that I won’t be able to wear steel armor in a garage during Summer heat. There’s a project I’m planning for memorial day that needs a lot of prep and days of recording. There is a challenge for veterans to do 22 push ups a day for 22 days relating to self harm statistics. As Winter thaws, more energy will become available. Today’s temperature is below freezing.

Wrecking and Rapping ep 77

This conversation explores the birth of Jesus Christ, focusing on his lineage, the structure of the Bible, the significance of names and terms, the gifts presented by the Magi, and the role of angels in the nativity story. The discussion emphasizes the importance of understanding these elements in the context of Christian faith and tradition.

Part 4

Then Joel saw a rack of clothes in the store, some hoodies and even better, sunglasses. If he was going to be tracked, then he’d need a disguise. He grabbed a hoodie with sunglasses and headed to the cashier.

“Good morning, find everything you need today?” she asked.

“Yes, thank you,” he replied.

When the cashier was finished scanning and bagging items, she asked if he was a rewards member.

“No. Can I get cash back?”

“Up to $200 on debit.”

Joel stood there thinking. $200 wouldn’t get him very far. He considered going to a couple stores to get as much as he could or maybe go to the bank and empty his account. Walking around with too much cash would create its own problems. Then the cashier brought him back to reality.

“There’s an ATM over there. Its limit is $500 if you need more.”

“Thank you, and can I get $200 cash back?”

He finished the transaction and made his way to the ATM. Pausing for a moment, he thought how it looked to be taking out so much. He was going on a trip, somewhere far away.

With his newly gathered treasure, Joel went into the bathroom. He walked in looking like himself, but was leaving as someone else. A hood and sunglasses were a good start. He’d need more later; then he decided to turn his pants inside out for a further disguise. Leaving the bathroom, Joel kept his gaze down and moved quickly to the exit. He had nothing in his hands, not the bag of clothes or the cash. Once outside, he kept walking, hopefully he could figure out where he was supposed to go.

Part 3

With no luck at boating supplies, Joel had to move on. He had too many questions and too many decisions to make. Weight began to build in his head, making him feel helpless. As Joel was collapsing on himself a train horn startled him upright.

“I can’t think!” he shouted. “Why are there helicopters out?”

When he thought about it, he’d been hearing helicopters all morning. Could they be following him? He began looking around and walking under a nearby tree. The odds of him being followed seemed impossible, though it wouldn’t be the first impossible thing of the day. He decided it was better to be paranoid and safe than risk his life. Pulling a phone out of his pocket, he remembered phones could be tracked and recorded. The same for his car. It was time to part ways with technology.

Joel went back to his car in the work parking lot. He dropped his phone in the glove box and closed the door. He was on his own now. Pulling out his wallet, he saw there was a lot of plastic and no real money. Anywhere he uses a credit card would be recorded with what he purchased. To get cash, he walked to the nearest grocery store.

Upon entering, the door rang a bell and a camera turned to face Joel, a red light blinking. He was being watched. He looked for what would be an inconspicuous purchase. A candy bar with maxed-out cash back might look strange. Not as strange as standing in the doorway, he began to walk the aisles. He was safe for the moment, just had to keep walking and looking around.

Part 2

“You can’t be serious. Dreams aren’t reality.” Joel’s wife, Mary, pleaded with him.

“It wasn’t just a dream, or at least it felt like more.”

“Well, what are you going to do?”

He shrugged and got up to start the day. As he went through the morning routine, food, coffee, and brushing teeth, inside his mind the world was collapsing. Every second of the dream was played on repeat. The outside went mute; the car radio barely audible. He arrived at work to push papers and clear cubicles. Work didn’t matter. All that mattered to him now was unraveling the prophecy he was given. 

There was no one he could talk to about his situation. They would all think he was crazy, even a priest might throw him out as a prankster. People have been predicting the end of the world since the beginning. Maybe he could learn from them, but he didn’t have any information. Stories of floods are in every culture and the angel didn’t give a name. The despair began to grow in Joel and he felt sick. He ran to a sink and gave up his breakfast. Being at work was pointless; he stepped out.

Going home wasn’t any better, across the street was a store that sold boating equipment. He went in. Joel began to ask the clerk questions relating to his flood. He asked whether waves could get too big for the biggest boats, for he knew little about being out on the open ocean. The responses didn’t help. The store was there to sell products and not philosophize about man’s limits. As the conversation went on Joel could see the employee recede, they no longer wanted to talk to him. Exactly how he thought speaking up would go, and he hadn’t even brought up angels. People weren’t ready for this; he wasn’t ready for it.

Part 1

“Last night I dreamt the heavens opened up and it began to rain, maybe forever, but I never saw it stop. People watched the water rising and wouldn’t believe it was coming for them. Every time it reached a new height they were certain that was the end. At no time did they think to run for cover. First, the penned up animals drowned. By then it was too late for any ideas to save us. They were only pointing fingers at who it was to blame, taking action against others while the rain ceased not. There was nothing I could do. It was a dream, though it felt more than a dream for in the end an angel came to tell me it would be so. Eventually only the elite could stay on top of the constant rise. Tides of time changed, waves became tsunamis crushing fleets and cities instantly. The whole world turned blue and the survivors took to the sky. They found no hope. It only delayed the inevitable. The last tribes of humanity clung together and watched each other slowly fall. When I was alone the angel appeared to me. At first there was a bright light, then a beautiful giant of a human with wings. They told me I wasn’t dreaming, that God had chosen me to see this prophecy and spread the word. As I sit there are so many questions I should have asked. When? How? Who am I to be saving the world? The prophecy only showed our destruction, not how we might come to correct our course.”

“Joel”—his wife’s words brought him back—“what are you talking about?”
“I think the world is going to end.”