Rubberband man can’t stand. His bones have turned to gelly and he’s cascading to the ground. Concentric circles forming a rubber volcano. I feel like that last sentence needed a primer to hibachi because I’m thinking of when they stack the onion rings and make it shoot steam. I saw my therapist today. I suppose everything is going well. I told her I’m going to stop going to group therapy and my boss neighbor said he finished my portrait; that will be fun to see. There’s a line I’ve been holding on to for awhile now and figured I should try to flesh it out to let it go, but there’s a larger throbbing on my brain from the idea of living as a good person. A line I read today was sort of a pep talk from Zarathustra to a fool on a hill, “Don’t give up the holy fight, hero.” The question is how to be good. Obviously I’m good by not wronging anyone, that’s not real good, that is what Nietzsche would call a cowardice morality, they do it because they’ve been told it’s wrong without ever decided for themselves what is wrong. I want to play a larger game with the highest stakes imaginable, I’m talking about my life, hell my after-life. We’re given one chip to play, and sooner or later it has to be cashed in. Who the winners and losers are has yet to be revealed.
The line I’ve been holding on to has to do with the individual weary from being “battle and battlefield” of virtues. I hope it explains my past and I’m only able to see what that means because I’ve moved beyond. If I settle on one virtue above everything else and that virtue is proven to be wrong, could a man recover from such devastation?