Experiment with Merriment

I’ve been duped, someone said I could double my dumping by deliberately delivering discriminating discord. In other words my wife got to sleep in this morning, so I did too. Now I naturally woke up at 7:00 but what I’ve been learning about myself these past months is how dependent on habit I am. If I wake up at the same time everyday and usually do the same thing, I’m living in this sphere of protection; I feel happier. I’m unable to answer the question “Why?” for anything so if the question is, “Why am I going for a run at 7AM?” the answer is, “because that’s what it says on the schedule.” That disconnect from the judgement process helps me to get things done. My next big problem is the one that held me up today. Currently I can only follow the schedule from start to finish, which means if I don’t start off on the right foot, I’ll basically write off the entire day. What I need to work on doing is accepting when something doesn’t go the way I want it to, then be willing to jump back into doing what I know to be the right and wrong things for me. I’m not too distraught about today because I’ve been pushing myself in some sense the last couple days and if I kept up that pace I’d probably be on my way to a crash, so having some recovery today is good. I hope it rains today to really justify things. I’m still riding the high of the sunny day we had a couple of days ago, so the current cold feels more like passing weather than winter. Next week we’ll be at the beach, that’ll drive me to put up with anything for now.

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