24 Little Hours

What a day today has been. I woke up to make breakfast and decided to do some cleaning around the house because usually after a weekend of us relaxing there’s more than a few dishes laying around the house. I loaded the dish washer and when I hit “Start” nothing happens, I keep hitting start. Then I hit “Select Mode” and some lights turn on, so I know the machine is on. This was one more thing to the endless list of to do’s I have right now and my back was broken. I cried over a broken dishwasher, I only want you to do the thing you were designed for. Why is this dishwasher here and speaking to me if it’s going to refuse washing my dishes. Needless to go on, I had a bit of a break down this morning and needed to lighten my load. The big thing is my podcast, I’m not going to do it until I’m done moving out of the old house. I like to get into the mood to record, so the project itself is fun, but that requires a lot of energy and perfect timing. Right now I need my primary focus to be moving and cleaning that house before the end of the month. Mary told me I’m not a failure for resting, of course I’m not, why is my brain able to simultaneously believe something and deny it? Today ended up being a good day though, it was all about self care. I mostly laid my back on the heating pad and played Zelda. We’ve been enjoying our games and figuring out what this new home life is while playing games that live out fantasy version of what we’re doing. Mine is traveling through the world fighting monsters, her’s is designing and growing a deserted island. I made my first trip to the mail box today, that’s like going to the edge of the Shire.

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